Crazy Times and Mad Hope: HSAM, OCD, Mania, and Faith
by Ryan Jones
An unforgettable memoir of madness, memory, and the miracle of faith
Sometimes you get a book that totally defies your expectations, and Ryan Jones’ Crazy Times and Mad Hope is one of those novels. As soon as I heard about it, I was so excited to read it!
I am a huge fan of memoirs, but this one sounded like nothing I had ever read before – and honestly, I think I’m better for having read it. I definitely didn’t know quite what to expect going in, but that was part of the beauty of it.
From the very first page, Ryan engrosses you in a frantic life story that seems too dramatic, impossible, and bizarre to be anything other than fiction, yet every word is real. Due to his Highly Superior Autobiographical Memory (HSAM), which he was born with, Ryan can recall extremely vivid and precise experiences from decades ago.
I’d actually never heard of HSAM before reading this book and I found it all so fascinating! But I can also empathize with the challenges it may have brought up for Ryan throughout his life. That can’t be easy.
His recollection is dramatic in scale, whether he is narrating the last seconds of a childhood football game or NCAA basketball finals. However, this extraordinary ability has a price: it feeds an often-agonizing battle with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and ends in a manic episode that is equal-parts genuine and horrifying.
In one moment, Ryan thinks he is Neo from The Matrix, who has been sent to 2250 to die for Satan. Like something from a science fiction movie, it sounds outlandish, and that’s exactly what it is. Usually, mental illness doesn’t manifest itself neatly. It can be messy and strange and confusing – for the person with it and those around them.
Mental illness doesn’t usually show up in a tidy manner. With shocking candor, his story dispels stigmas. He shares his experience through mania, OCD, loss, and recovery without holding anything back because he is brutally honest, vulnerable, and genuine. These stories are so good, and I don’t want to spoil it all for you, so I really just wanted to tell you that you need to read it for yourself.
Something I’ve only talked about a little bit here on my site is that I have OCD myself. So, I definitely found a lot of things relatable in Ryan’s story when it came to his OCD. And while I do not have HSAM or mania, I do have other co-concurring conditions. But even if you don’t have any personal experience with any of this, you’ll find his story addictively interesting!
This isn’t only a tale of pain, though. It is also a powerful illustration of tenacity, familial ties, and, above all, faith. Despite every setback, including his brother’s sudden passing, Ryan finds hope in his relationship with God. Because of his spiritual anchor, which he put in place when he was fifteen years old, he finds moments of peace and clarity even in the most trying times of his life.
It is this aspect of Ryan’s story that I think will be so inspirational for many people. I can see this book bringing messages of hope to people from all over the world. He also has a writing style that knows when to not take itself too seriously.
This memoir’s ability to combine heartfelt comedy and heartbreaking facts is what really sets it apart. One moment you’re laughing at a strange sports memory or his ability to remember ridiculously exact historical information, and the next you’re reeling from the weight of his experiences. It’s genuine, human, and relatable, even if you’ve never gone through anything similar to what Ryan has. You are guaranteed to be moved by it.
Anyone who wants to learn more about the complexity of mental health, the strength of memory, and the silent force of unwavering faith should read it. And if, like me, you just love reading memoirs and personal stories, this is one to add to your list.
Highly recommended. Five stars!
Available on Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and Kindle Unlimited.