An Argument for Love – Book Review
What if love was more than an emotion, but the basis of our identity and our capacity for healing? This book proposes exactly that. I was very excited to get a review copy of An Argument for Love because I was intrigued by the cover and title, and the description really drew me in. The author is a psychotherapist and in this book he explores this concept of love and what it really means. And it just might change the way you look at love going forward.
This book argues that love is not just an emotion, but that it is the foundational force that shapes human behavior, relationships, and even the structure of society itself. This is such a profound thought – yet at the same time, a very simple thought. In my heart, I know I’ve always felt the same way.
Love is the real driving force behind all that is good in the world, and all that is good in humans. In this book, Davis fuses the unvarnished intimacy of storytelling with state-of-the-art findings in evolutionary biology, psychology and neuroscience to explain his theories on love.
As a result, the book feels both emotionally and educationally relevant, which is a unique combination that appeals to both the heart and the intellect. In many ways, I am a practical person, so this resonated with me. I can give in to feelings, but I also want to understand the logic behind it. This book balances all of that well for me.
It is told through the story of Anna, a fictional client who helps lead us through her path of pain and self-discovery, and ultimately, a comprehensive examination of love in all of its manifestations. We see love as it follows Anna in many forms – attachment, compassion, connection and self-acceptance. And through her story, we learn so much about love, possibly in ways we never even considered before.
While the book uses science and introspection throughout, it never feels clinical or remote. The author’s great writing style and compassionate approach to storytelling makes it feel more like you are following the path of a good friend and hoping for the best for them. The concepts and ideas the author introduces are developed in a way that is real and approachable.
In fact, it is this distinctive hybrid methodology of An Argument for Love that sets it apart from other books like this in the genre. Research is very much supported by data, but Anna’s humanity is never overshadowed by facts or analytics. Instead, it enhances it by showing that love, whether fostered or ignored, genuinely influences our minds, our decisions, and our lives.
The book’s overall message of optimism spoke to me the most. Although we see Anna dealing with grief and tragedy, it is never without hope. We see again and again in the book how love can heal even the deepest of pains.
From the very first words in the book, as we are introduced to Anna, her feelings resonate deeply with me, and I suspect, they will with most of you reading, as well. Unless you have lived a very lucky, very sheltered life, there’s a good chance you’ve felt like Anna does, at least once in your life. If you’ve ever doubted your value or wondered about your place in the world, this book and Anna’s story will resonate with you.
And in addition to sharing Anna’s path, Davis also pulls from his own personal experiences within the book. He has a great deal of experience both as a human and as a therapist that lends itself to the story and the message he wants to spread with this book. He is honest, sincere, and candid in a way that many are not, and it makes us (as readers) feel informed, seen, and understood.
This is a book that I think every human can relate to. It’s not often I say that a book is perfect for everyone – as that is typically not the case. But this book doesn’t cater to genre or subject matter. It’s about the human condition. It’s about love. And it has evidence-based perspectives on trauma, attachment and resilience that we can all learn from.
I think you will also find something incredibly valuable here, just as I did, whether you are recovering from a breakup, looking for deeper meaning in your relationships, or just curious about the inner workings of the human psyche and the role that love plays in human survival and happiness.
Davis has a great writing style that pulls you in and makes you want to continue turning those pages. He creates moments that endure long after the last page. The emotional impact of Anna’s story really keeps the book rooted in actual experience, rather than just theoretical abstract, and I think this is the key to the book’s success. Because just as love is something we have to feel and experience for ourselves to truly understand, the concepts in this book could never be explained in scientific terms alone.
This book has never been more relevant than it is today. In a place where we are frequently ruled by fear, isolation and division, it has never been so important to remember the value of love. It is fundamental to what it means to be a human. It is not a luxury or a passing emotion. It is the very core of humanity.
As I reflect on this book and write this review, I am reminded again and again of a quote from early in the book:
“If love is as fundamental as oxygen, why do we treat it like it’s optional?”
This is something I will remind myself if I ever start to question the importance of love in my life. To give it, and to receive it – is to be human. It is the most important thing in the world, and this book proves why.
I think this book should truly be mandatory for every human on the planet. I know I will be recommending it to everyone from here on out.
And it’s essential reading for therapists, social workers or others in helping professionals. It’s more than a book about love, it’s a manual for reclaiming, fostering, and realizing why love is the most important thing in the world.
5 stars from me!
You can read An Argument for Love for yourself from Amazon. It’s in paperback, hardcover and Kindle editions, and it’s also on Kindle Unlimited.