Don’t Follow the Money – Book Review
I was very excited to get a review copy of Don’t Follow the Money: Two Stories at the Heart of the Gender and the Nature vs. Nurture Debate. I received an audiobook copy so I listened to this one, but it is also available in Kindle and Kindle Unlimited. I have personal stakes in the subject matter covered in this book, but it’s something that I really believe everyone should read.
Two genuine experiences told by Toby Unterfranz, LPC, show readers how medicine can either empower or mute people, and the difference nearly always comes down to whether someone is actually heard.
Let’s take a look in my spoiler-free review.
Overview
POV: You think medicine always helps…
📖 Then you read Don’t Follow the Money and realize how much harm can happen when people aren’t listened to.
This book tells two true stories:
❌ One where identity was forced.
✅ One where identity was affirmed.
It’s compassionate, eye-opening, and a must-read for anyone who wants to understand the real human side of gender and identity.
A Tale of Two Realities
A child’s life was permanently changed by a medical accident, and doctors forced judgments about his identity on him without his consent. The first story is challenging but essential reading. He was led down a road based on anguish, uncertainty, and secrecy rather than one that led to recovery. It serves as a sobering reminder of the harm that can result when experts make decisions about “what’s best” without consulting those who will be most impacted.
In comparison, the second story is subtly revolutionary. A doctor in a quiet town, distant from the limelight, decided to follow his heart instead of following the rules. Many patients who had experienced rejection and condemnation elsewhere came across the nation to receive care. They received more than just medical assistance at his clinic; they also received dignity, understanding, and confirmation of their true selves.
When paired together, these two narratives create a powerful contrast: one illustrates the damage caused by identity that is imposed from the outside, while the other highlights the therapeutic value of internal affirmation.
Why This Book Matters
Unterfranz avoids using political jargon or intellectual abstractions in his writing. Rather, he narrates human stories that are weighed heavily by ethics, science, and personal experience. Without ever oversimplifying, the writing’s compassion and clarity make difficult issues pertaining to gender, identity, and medical ethics approachable.
I found the recurrent concept of listening to be the most noteworthy. Silence and concealment were detrimental in the first instance. In the second, empathy and attentive listening were crucial. This contrast serves as the book’s beating heart and conveys a message that goes much beyond medicine.
Final Thoughts
Don’t Follow the Money is a thought-provoking and motivational book. It forces us to consider how far medicine has advanced, how far it still has to go, and how important it is to put actual people at the center of discussions that are too frequently lost in politics and noise.
Readers interested in identity, medical ethics, and transgender studies may find resonance in this book, but everyone who values human choice will find it to be a compelling read. It’s an amazing, enlightening, and compassionate novel that will stick with you long after you’ve turned the last page.
Highly recommended for students, parents, healthcare providers, and anyone looking to better understand the human side of the gender and nature vs. nurture debate.
5 stars from me!